Greg Comings is a licensed child psychologist based in Northern California with over 15 years of experience helping children and families navigate emotional, behavioral, and developmental challenges. With a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from UC Berkeley and post-doctoral training at Stanford’s Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Department, Greg combines academic expertise with a deeply empathetic approach. He specializes in evidence-based practices like play therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and parent-child interaction therapy (PCIT), tailoring his methods to meet the unique needs of each child and their family.
Greg is passionate about uncovering the underlying reasons behind a child’s behavior, believing that every action has a story. Beyond his private practice, he is a community advocate, running support groups for parents, volunteering at schools, and sharing his insights through blogs, podcasts, and lectures. His mission is to empower families with tools to foster emotional resilience and connection, both in therapy and in everyday life.
What led you to pursue a career in child psychology, and how did your early experiences influence your approach to working with children and families?
My journey into child psychology began with a personal experience that left a lasting impression. When I was a kid, my younger brother went completely silent for days after our parents divorced. I remember sitting with him, just being there, and realizing how much kids need someone to notice their emotions, even when they can’t express them. That moment didn’t immediately lead me to psychology, but it planted the idea that listening and being present can be incredibly powerful.
Later, during my training, I worked with a young boy who had been labeled as “difficult.” Instead of focusing on his behavior, I gave him space to express himself through play. Over time, he opened up in ways that words couldn’t capture. These experiences taught me that children’s actions are often their way of communicating what they can’t say out loud. That belief has shaped my approach ever since.
How do you tailor your therapeutic methods, like play therapy or CBT, to meet the unique needs of each child and their family system?
Every child is unique, and so is every family. My first step is always to build trust, whether that’s through play, conversation, or simply creating a safe space where they feel understood. For younger kids, I often use play therapy because it allows them to express emotions and experiences in a way that feels natural to them. For teens, I might lean more on CBT to help them identify and challenge negative thought patterns.
I also work closely with parents to ensure that the strategies we use in therapy can be applied at home. For example, in parent-child interaction therapy (PCIT), I coach parents on how to respond to their child’s behavior in ways that strengthen their relationship while addressing challenges. It’s about creating a team approach where everyone feels supported.
What strategies do you recommend for parents to better understand the “why” behind their child’s behavior, especially during challenging moments?
The key is to approach your child’s behavior with curiosity rather than judgment. Instead of asking, “Why are they acting like this?” try to think, “What are they trying to tell me?” Behavior is often a signal of an unmet need or an overwhelming emotion.
I encourage parents to look for patterns. Is your child acting out when they’re tired, hungry, or overstimulated? Are there changes in their environment that might be affecting them? Once you identify the triggers, you can address the root cause rather than just the behavior. And always validate their feelings first, something as simple as saying, “I can see you’re upset, and that’s okay,” can make a big difference.
Can you share an example of how collaboration with teachers or pediatricians has positively impacted a child’s progress in therapy?
Collaboration is essential because children don’t exist in isolation, they’re part of a larger system that includes their school, family, and community. I once worked with a child who was struggling with anxiety and refusing to go to school. By partnering with her teacher, we created a plan that included a quiet space she could use when she felt overwhelmed.
At the same time, her pediatrician helped address some physical health issues that were contributing to her stress. With everyone working together, we were able to create a consistent support system that helped her feel safe and understood. Within a few months, she was not only attending school but thriving in her classes.
What are some of the most common challenges you see children facing today, and how can parents help them navigate these issues?
One of the biggest challenges I see is the pressure kids face in today’s fast-paced, digital world. Social media, academic expectations, and extracurricular demands can create a lot of stress, even for young children. Another common issue is difficulty with emotional regulation, which can show up as tantrums, withdrawal, or defiance.
Parents can help by creating a calm, predictable environment at home. Teach coping skills like deep breathing or mindfulness during calm moments, so they’re ready to use them when things get tough. And most importantly, make time for connection. Whether it’s playing a game, reading a book together, or just talking about their day, those moments of connection can help kids feel grounded and supported.
How do you help parents and caregivers build emotional resilience in their children through everyday interactions and routines?
Building emotional resilience doesn’t require grand gestures, it’s about the small, consistent moments of connection. I encourage parents to create rituals, like a bedtime routine where you talk about the best and hardest parts of the day. These routines help kids feel safe and give them a chance to process their emotions.
I also teach parents to model healthy coping strategies. If you’re feeling stressed, talk about it in a way your child can understand: “I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.” Kids learn a lot by watching how we handle our own emotions. Over time, these everyday interactions can help children develop the tools they need to navigate life’s challenges.
What advice would you give to parents of children with ADHD who are struggling to create a calm and supportive home environment?
Parenting a child with ADHD can be challenging, but it’s important to focus on their strengths. Kids with ADHD often thrive in structured environments, so creating clear routines and expectations can help them feel more secure. Break tasks into smaller steps, and use positive reinforcement to celebrate their efforts, not just their outcomes.
It’s also crucial to practice patience and self-care. Parenting is hard work, and it’s okay to ask for help, whether that’s joining a support group or working with a therapist. Remember, your child isn’t trying to be difficult, they’re navigating a world that often doesn’t fit the way their brain works. With the right support, they can thrive.
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