Ready to learn how to find yourself in one simple mindset shift? Here’s the key … and the many ways it can change your life.
For the longest time, I thought I could find myself if only I kept searching.
I didn’t feel like me yet.
Like the real me, the version I knew I could become, was always waiting just around the corner.
Until one day I realized something that ended this lifelong quest … and finally gave me what I was looking for.
It was a simple mindset shift – a one-word difference – that changed everything.
The Myth Of Finding Yourself
You see, the whole time I was searching for myself, I was actually looking in the wrong direction entirely.
It’s not about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.
It was so simple, yet so completely transformational – a lightbulb moment that would illuminate my path forward for years to come.
You see, finding yourself means you’re on a journey with no real sense of control or agency. It’s as if one day you’ll just turn a corner, and by some miracle, it will all make sense. You’ll stumble upon it.
So until then, you might as well bide your time and wait for it to show up.
But the truth is … getting to know yourself and your purpose on a deep and intimate level is not a passive process. In fact, it’s all about trying. It’s about doing. It’s about actively choosing and creating the person you want to be and the life you want to live.
That’s why I believe we don’t find ourselves in another person or a job or a place. We create ourselves, and we’re constantly co-creating as we interact inside of our relationships, responsibilities, and desires. We’re co-creating who we are all the time.
The good news is, by consciously choosing this process, you can create whatever you can imagine.
How To Find Yourself … By Creating Yourself Instead
Creating yourself with love and intention is an entirely different process than “finding” yourself. That’s why I want to share the lessons I learned along the way. My hope is that you, too, can use these principles for empowering and intentional self-discovery – instead of losing yourself in the passivity of waiting.
Let’s dive in.
1. It’s within your control
As soon as I gave myself the permission to create, it felt like coming home to myself. It led to a new level of self-love because I finally felt like I was in control of who I was and wanted to be.
Suddenly, I decided on the direction of my life, and if I tried something that didn’t fit, it was ok because I could always just try something else.
I stopped telling myself I had limits. I stopped confining myself to boxes or roles or old beliefs – because I realized I could try and try again, without totally dismantling whom I thought I was in the process.
I had control and agency in my process of self-discovery, and my identity was no longer dependent on circumstance or happenstance. And that was incredibly empowering!
2. It’s an evolving process.
The thing about creating yourself is you can always re-create yourself, too.
It’s never just: This is who I am. End of story. Full stop.
It’s a constant evolution of creating, recreating, redesigning, reimagining, and refocusing ourselves – which we can do at any time. That means this process is always there for you. The ability to change your circumstances, and how you show up within them, is constantly available.
If you try something out that doesn’t fit quite right, it’s ok. Just try again.
3. It frees your inner voice.
You know that feeling, that pulling inside yourself, that gut sense, that moment when you feel it in your bones? Or maybe it’s a vision for the future that you can see so clearly but just can’t make your reality.
That intuitive sense of inner knowing is what I call my inner self. And I believe it can show us what we’re truly capable of. It can reveal your calling or purpose, and it can help you create meaning in life. But sometimes it can be hard to access, too.
By seeing your identity as a creative process, and choosing to take ownership of that process, it gives voice to that inner part of yourself that holds the truth of who you are. It turns up the volume on your inner self and lets that voice guide the way forward.
4. It requires action.
Here’s the thing about the creative process: It requires action to keep moving. Creation in action. And when you start taking actions that are in alignment with your inner self, you realize that there is no failure in creativity. There is only trying and trying differently.
After all, failure is an honor reserved only for those who actually try.
So there’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just learning, creating, and growing … one action at a time.
5. It opens up new possibilities.
Once I began actively creating who I wanted to be, I got to know myself in a new way. And I realized something huge.
What I didn’t think was possible before I now know is possible. And that inspired even more vision and even more dreaming. I was really starting to see everything that was truly possible because I was actually creating it.
Because here’s the thing. Life still happens. Things change. And sometimes it forces us into creating something new.
That can be an empowering experience, or it can make you feel lost – like you’re not quite sure who you are anymore. It could sound like: I don’t know who I am without him. I don’t know what I’m going to do when my kids leave the house. I don’t know what my purpose is without my job.
But if you can remember that we don’t find ourselves in external relationships and roles – if you believe that’s actually an inside job – then these difficult life circumstances transform into opportunities for re-creation.
And all of a sudden, you’ve opened yourself up to all the possibilities in life, instead of getting lost in the loss.
6. It feels good.
Don’t forget to have a little fun with your creative process! Play. Enjoy the journey. Don’t be afraid to look at your life and redesign the parts that don’t feel like you.
It’s ok to reimagine it. If you feel called to create something new, then this is the time. It’s never too late to try something new. It’s never too late to believe in new possibilities.
Get into the process. Don’t procrastinate. It’s amazing how great you feel when you take a step toward becoming yourself, toward fulfilling your own desires, and toward bringing your ideas to life.
And all you have to do is try it.
Stop Finding Yourself & Start Creating Instead.
Finding yourself versus creating yourself is the difference between hoping something will happen to you and choosing to actively make it happen. And that difference is empowerment.
When I create myself, I decide who I am. I choose who I want to be. I decide my way of thinking and being in the world. I choose my contribution.
I create my relationships, my career, my financial success, and my purpose.
It’s all within me.
And it’s all within you, too.
So decide it’s that simple. Decide you can do this. Decide to honor your dreams and desires.
Don’t wait on the permission of others to dare to be who you know you are.
Ready To Take Action?
I’ve been working on this practice for over 20 years, and I’ve learned quite a few tools, techniques, and mindsets along the way.
I share all my best strategies for navigating life’s toughest moments inside of my membership community. You can even find a video course on this exact topic that includes everything you need for self-discovery and empowered action.
All you have to do is show up for the journey.
Learn how to find yourself – by creating yourself – with the Iconic Woman Course.
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