What are you going to do next year?” My friend’s face was already slightly red. From the tone of his voice, I already knew that it would be red even before he got closer to his goal. Closer than acceptable, but hey, it was a party and it was New Year’s Eve. So, what the heck.
I knew the script well. This is when we make promises to ourselves without thinking it through and say them out loud so that we feel too embarrassed not show a “good-faith effort”.
“Not sure, really” I smiled “maybe I will skip this year’s resolution. And you?”
Joey smiled. “This is it, baby! The year of the breakthrough. Did you know that this is the Chinese year of the donkey? Nothing is going to stop me now.” Obviously had one too many, I pointed out to myself. And no there is no such thing as a Chinese year of the donkey, but this guy is quickly starting to behave like an ass. “Ok” I smiled “tell me more” ….
That was the point where Joey started telling me how he will get out of debt while getting closer with his children and restore the red-hot romance in his life by losing thirty pounds off his weight.
To an extent, we are all Joey.
Let me Explain.
Many times, we set to create and decide on goals. Yet, rarely do we prepare for the process (yes, process) of making these decisions. And, when we are put on the spot to make them, we knee-jerk responses to things we do not like about ourselves, our lives and our jobs or businesses and state that we will fix them this year.
At face value, it isn’t a big problem. After all, we do want to change what we don’t like, right? Yes, we do, but that would have us chase symptoms for the rest of our lives. We must look for the root causes and heal them instead. The symptoms will take care of themselves subsequently!
For several years now, I have taken groups and individuals through a deeper process of goal setting, one that starts with a foundation of what we want in life and how that would express by goals that make sense.
This process works every day of the year. You can resolve to achieve a particular goal anytime – there is nothing magical about the New Year’s Eve, and so if you are holding this article in May – it still works!
Here is the process I use:
1. Think back to last Thanksgiving. What are some of the things that you value the most about your life? This is important and will create a foundation that will make any of your resolutions important enough to follow up on. If you do not celebrate Thanksgiving thinks about this: what are the most important things in your life? Is it your family? Is it your mission and the change that you like to create in the world? Is it the gifts that you were born with? These traits that are so effortless for you and everyone else is just wondering how you even do it? Make a short list of those things that are important to you and that you are grateful for.
2. What would you like to be grateful for NEXT Thanksgiving? Think about these areas of your life: Relationships, Health, Finances, Environment, and Spiritual life. Make sure to focus away from the current situation and envision things that are not reactionary to your existing state. For example, finding a life partner would be an appropriate wish for the area of relationship. In the area of health, you could wish for something that demonstrates the health, such as completing a marathon, or trekking to Machu Picchu. Losing 20 pounds is a reaction to your excess weight so it is not appropriate here. Rather, set a goal where releasing your excess weight could become an outcome or side effect of reaching this goal.
3. What would be one thing in each of these areas that you’d be grateful if it manifested? Here you hone in and start focusing on an outcome. There may be quite a number of things that I like to achieve in my financial life but most of them do not feel attainable in 12 months. Stretch yourself without losing your own belief that you can make it happen. One way to do this would be to play the “wouldn’t it be great if…” game – just ask yourself what idea could be great to have achieved in these 12 months.
4. Which ones of the five are you willing to commit to? Having five goals, five dreams for the five areas of life allows you to now step up. This is it. This is your New Year’s party moment of decision, only this time without the influence of alcohol and with a foundation of what is really important in your life. From the five goals, choose the ones you are willing to commit to. Whether or not you know how to achieve them, you can decide to give it your best shot. At the end of the day, it is one year, not the rest of your life, so give yourself the gift of chasing a dream for this one. Chose at least one, yes? 😉
5. Write it down, share it and find people who would follow up on your progress. You heard it all before. Goals that are written down are far more likely to be achieved, and those announced publicly and followed up on are way more likely to be achieved than the others. So yes, even if you are at a party, you can definitely announce your goals to the world. Just don’t make them up at the party.
Luckily for Joey, I was able to get him to stand down and not make an announcement that he would have regretted. When we make these New Year’s Resolution announcement and they do not make sense, we erode our self-trust and diminish our confidence in our ability to discern and set great goals and, moreover, to achieve them.
This year, do yourself a favor. Follow the five-step process and set your goal before the party.
You can thank me later 😉 ~Yoram Baltinester
FB: Yoram.Baltinester www.heyyoram.com
Yoram has been training entrepreneurs and business professionals since the 1980’s while operating in the High-tech world in various capacities. His fast, fierce and focused approach has earned him the nickname of “The Personal Development Samurai”.
Through decades of trial and error, success and failure, and many transitions that life has taken him through, Yoram collected his insights and crafted a proven protocol he calls Decisive Action. Using this protocol people can make quality decision when the matter at hand is life changing or effects the future of their businesses.
Some of Yoram’s business and personal accomplishments using Decisive Action protocol were crossing the Gobi Desert, into Tibet and proceeding to cross the Himalayas overland into Nepal. In the wake of September 11 (same week!) Yoram started an Information Technology management firm which he grew year-over-year for 12 years until he sold it in 2013. In the personal development space, he was involved in three startups all of which still operate and one has been in business since 1985.
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